dis isn't the real me:(

my summer started on 4th april...frm tht day till 19th of may i was home....i was employe din the office at home...VSERVE...it was fun in the beginning,,,,th ewrk wasnt so much,,,but as the days passsed by i had more wrk to do..n the wrst prt was tht i had to be off the bed my 9:30...yaar chutti's main koi uthta hain itni subah??:(....but still i njoyed the wrk...it wld leave me alone for long hours...in the frdt 2-3 weeks summa was helping em a bit ...bht whn her xamz were to strt,,i had to take uo the wrk of bht of us....wanted so many tymes to jus say the i dun wanna wrk nemore,,,but cldnt say tht...my frnd's were all annoyed at me coz i wsnt speaking to ne of them....jus chked messages n left...n in the evenings whn i signed-in again.."yah yah...forget us"these were the type of messages i was gettin frm my frndz...sutymes i felt so tired after the days wrk...n became very cranky...n wld scold ppl for nuthng...later i regretted it....in the holidays..sara,roshn haffus came over to stay at our place....it was nice having ppl of my age arnd at home...coz there's really no1 arnd my age at home...n it was one night whn i n haffus wentto sleep fynally at arnd 3...she asked me y was i gettin so aanoyed at ppl so soon...she saw me getting annoyed at saif for like no reason...jus shouting at him...i wld loose my temper so soon...tht two tymes i even slapped him hrd on his bac...:(felt really bad for it laterz...i thot abt wht haffus said the nxt day..n began to realise tht i really was being mean to ppl arnd me,,,its very very bad of me u c:(...i was never lyk dis b'fore,,,,sum mnths ago i started to being lyk dis...dis is not the normal me!!God i wsh i cld jus understand wht wz happening to me,,,every1 arnd me was sayng tht i hav changed a lot,,,i dunno wht made ppl say tht...n everytym sum1 said tht i got so annoyed...n stopped talkn to ppl n behaved so unlike me!!,,,,never blvd tht i wld change so much,,,but wht hav made me change so much???i try to thnk it for every few days ki "kya hua mariya tumko"???but nvr got an answer bac....waiting for sum1 to xplain ki wht's wrong wid me,,,n in those days i dnt even wante dto speak to either Laxmi or Rehan...n was gettinm upset over the silliest thn's ever...evn if sum1 said me sumthng aloud...for my good...i always thot tht every's against me,,,but later it thot no,,,it was for my own right...i shld hav nvr blamed ppl for trying to temme wht's good for me,,,sumdays bac rehan said me tht i wasntthe mariya i used to be at skool,,,the same thn even sunita ma'am said...i was taken back coz she never really said thos ekina stuff....wht i thot was...i want a off...i wanna get away frm home for sumdays,,,jus to get sum peace,,,n yeah i did,,,i wentto mami's place...njoyed der wid all my cousinz ,,,,we sat n talked abt skool lyf till late in the night's...n tht was fun.....once in those days i got te be online till late nght....n it was aftr monu's b'day,,,so at the same tym sum1 else was online tooo;)...called thm bth on the conference;)...n it was so bad u knw,,,they bth started teasing me at the same tym...at sum tym me n monu strted fighting over sumthng...HE was lyk..."kitna accha lagra do billi's ko ladtey dekhkey";)...i backed at him,,n said ever u fght wid wit juviji in the same way,,,thn at sumtymes monu teased me a lot..i asked HIM to gimme side...he gave,,,but only for a sec or two...n whn i scolded him for not givin my side,,,he was like im givin ur syd....monu wsnt replying,,,so i thot i wanted to leave,,,so said gudd byes to 'em n signed-off,,,thn went n satin frnt of the TV for a long tym...at arnd 4 switched it offf jus ti make sure tht i wldnt wake all the other ppl who were sleeping peacefully...thn bac at bed...i dunno how n whn,.,,,,i strted crying,,,dunno y but i was missing DAD so much,,,never cried for him,,,,tough i spk to him almist everyday..tht day i missed him teribbly...i jus dunno y???!!i was so confused myself...clsnt make up wht was goinn on...wanted to stop..but thot ki let the tears go...th epain wld all go,,,,n cried almist for 30mins...thn chked the watch...it was almist 4:50...closed my eyes...n dunno whn i went off to sleep,,,got up at the stroke of 1,,,the rest of the day wnt in TV n thn talkin to ammu n bhabhi....n playing wid rida,,,[my ladoo bhatiji]...on 24 went for LIFE IN A METRO...was a gud movie....the sngs were really awesome,,,,thn went to KFC,,,,thn came bac home,,,it was so good to be bac homie...really missed every prt of home....it was a good brk frm wrk n home for jus 4 days...ppl werent happy coz we stayed only for 4 day's..mami even complained it to dad,,,on 26th we went to coll for the admission...it's a good place...i mean the coll...GAUTAM....the tymngs are bad tough!!!:( 8:30-4:00,,isnt tht too much fir CEC students...anyways letes see wht happen's...


HAPPY B'DAY TO ME....
it was 11:50 on 26th may...tht i fynally dragged me frm the pc to hav abath b'fore goin to sleep,,,,n got a bit xcited coz aftr 10mins i wld be all of 16,,,,i was jus gettng dresses,,,sum1 knocked on the door,,,it sounded lyk faisal,,,i was lyk.."wht"???"bahar aao" the prsn said.."ruko do min"...i answrd bac....n thn i took my twl n poened the door,,,n as soon as i did it..monu thrwe a mug of water all over me"pichkiyaauuu"...thn gave me a lite hug...i felt so happy abt the huggie thng....[she will nvr kne how much i love her]...thn i met mom...she gave me a hug too...thn rehan called.....tht dad called n i spk 2 him for lik a min...n thn to chi n fatty,,,thn i replace the phoney...n go dwn to get me sum hot mlk....wanted to hav one glass fulll...dwnstairs summa too gave me a huggie....n sobu met me at the entrance....went to the kitchey,,,,but cldnt fnd hot milk,,,,got frustrated n came up...holding my baksa....in wch i thot of keepin my stuff....maa was tellin me frn ages to remove all those tuff frm the cupboard,,,,i got d tym...thn on the day....at nght...it was mad actually,,,was jus wondering tht did ppl forget it was my b'day??thn...naah!!they wld surely call in themrng:)....aftr emptying my cupboard frm my kachra,,,i wentto sleeep,,,had monu phonky for he radio.,,,,n all my fav sngs were being played,,,,n i jus slept listening to "bepanah pyaar hain aaja"....in the mrng it was sappu drlng who woke me up n wished me....thn pradeep vcalled...thn sunitha ma'am called,,,,had calles frm every1,,,but Laxmi???where was she??i dressed in my pakistani suit tht mumma[my tayimaa]brght frn Dubai;)...it was awesome,,,,wnt dwn met dadima n dadahazat,,,,at 12 i got upset tht laxmi hadnt called still...thn arnd 12:10 faisal come n saytht sum1 came for me....i went till the stairs n found my darling laxmi stndng der....we hugged each other fora long tym...thn we sat in the guest room n spoke for a long tym...juvi baaji called up in themiddle,,,,thnbushra turned up to...three of us had fun,,,thn i cut the cake laxmi bght ,,,it was a vanilla cake ....yummmy,,,awesome,,,,bht mazey ka tha,,,,ha dthe lunch n thn d ice-cream,,,thn me n bushra went n dropped laxmi at her place,,,,n i went to hav sum peace at home,,,n slept for two long hour's,,,,thn got up,,,n switched thepc on,,,,till it git strted i had my asr prayer's....n asked god for forgivness to whtever i had doen the previous yr,,,n promised tht i wldnt repeat this year,,,thn chked my messages,,,happy b'day frm everyone,,,got crds frm mt frndzzz,,,juvi baaji was like"saula baras ko maine saawara"...yeh gaatey phiro tum,,,,sam bhai was teasing me abt God know's who!!!was lyk "aapkey UNU wish karey??"[unu=atif aslam;)]....Owaes Bhaiyya callled in the evening,,,as soon as i saw his no i picked up the reciver,,,n strted shouting"sadiyal hain aap....bht burey hia,,,,ab tym mila apni sis-in-law ku wsh karney ka....huh!!!hodaya mera pukaara ab bolo..lolz";)....he was lyk thot ki u wld be bz the whole day n so i thot of callin in the evening,,,n asked me to chk the b'day mail he sanet ,,,i was cute lil mail,,,n suddenly juvi baaji cum's up n gamme my gifat.....it was a whole pack of 3 dairy milks...wow!!!ssssssssslllllllllllllllluuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrpppppppp,,,,,in the dinner had wonder haleem maa cooked,,,,jus perfect,,,,thn nushra went home,,,n i watched sum tv,,,at 11 i cut the chicolate cake....n summa came wid vanilla cream n pasted it on my face,,,,thn arnd 1 in the nght i did wid mi Isha prayer's,,,thn said nighty to myself....wnt to the bed....switched on the radio,,,,had the buk,,,,i had sum thot tht it wasnt the day i wishd for i dnt feel it was my b'ay..tough i had a lot of fun...still felt sumthng missin...jus tht thot tht this was the frst b'day dad wsnt here i missed him ver badly in those minutes,,,n all of a sudden tears flooded in m,y eyes...n i quickly switched the radio off...kept the buk under the pillow....n closed my eyes tight...n dunno whn i felt asleep...


Yawnnn!!!
bht late hodaya,,,will need sum rest to be Super Girl in the mrng;)...
**nighty**